Angry with God ?
May be Yes, for most of us, I believe; albeit sometimes. Whenever we do not have our way, God comes as the easiest punching bag for us. And strangely, God Is also the one we beg to make our dreams come true, in the same breath.
Let me share some of my personal experiences in this regard when I would have cajoled, prayed, worshiped, fasted on various days considered auspicious in Hindu mythology, to see God swing the results in the way I wanted. But alas, that never happened, anytime. The more I insisted with my prayers, the more time i suffered, as results never came the way I wanted.
To share an example, I worked with a leading north-based Pvt. sector Bank, with my initial posting at Jaipur . After 7 years of my joining at Jaipur, I became eligible for promotion to Scale II. Went through the promotional exercise, and was lucky to be amongst a batch of 28 officers who were promoted to Scale II.
However, while all promoted officers were shuffled in the same city branches' wherever they were working at that time, I was the only one who was transferred out of Jaipur, and to a far off place Chandigarh. I tried my best to get my orders changed for Jaipur, like for everyone else, but didn't succeed.
That was the first time I was angry with God. However, one dear friend and well wisher, counseled me that life at a place, far away from the place where from the Bank belongs to, is really worth while, and professionally enriching, and I should happily move on. Who knows, my curse might turn out to be a lucky break I deserved.
So, I came to Chandigarh. And lo, it was a wonderful branch, manned by excellent staff members. A single branch in a city gives you a host of experience to learn all round banking, and Chandigarh posting turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Besides Chandigarh branch being a good place to work at, the city, the people, the places around too turned out to be a wonderful lot.
Going forward, Bank probably was happy and satisfied with my work performance, as within 18 months time interval, I was picked up to head Panchsheel Park, New Delhi branch. That posting set out road map for me, as I went on to head Faridabad and Lucknow branches thereafter. And the time flew, with me experiencing all seasons.
After few years, there was another promotional exercise in my Bank, for promotion to Scale IV (Chief Manager) in the year 1995. I got promoted to Scale IV, but my result was withheld by the Bank for some technical reasons. I once again tried my best, at various levels in the Bank's hierarchy, to get my results declared, but it wasn't coming through no matter what ever I did to either please my Bank management or to please GOD. That was the 2nd time, I was angry with God.
Utterly frustrated with my Bank, we had an insight, that may be God wants us to start looking outside my then present Bank. I started scanning newspapers for middle level opportunities in other Banks, and I came across an Ad from an equally respectable leading south-based Pvt. sector Bank, applied for Chief Manager position, and got selected.
That change in Bank, from a north-based to south-based bank, turned out to be a major change in my Banking career. It was like a Banking Junction. And a new journey began, though in uncharted waters.
The learning from my first bank kept me in good stead, and helped me find my place in new Bank quite quickly. The change in journey took me to places, like Bombay, Kolkatta and Bangalore, and I got an opportunity to work with one of the best minds in banking sector, as like me, the Bank that time had recruited lot of other officers, from, SBI, leading nationalized banks, and from MNC Banks too. This south-based Bank was like super market of Bankers.
The work profile I was entrusted with me took me to Bangalore, and brought me back to New Delhi within a year's time. Delhi-wallahs are always happy with Delhi, even if the haven exist elsewhere, and life was quite steady till a MNC Bank took controlling stake in my new Bank. The new Bank went through major reshuffling of its HR resources, and I landed myself in Mumbai. Once again, I tried my best to prove my suitability more in Delhi, and northern India than anywhere else, and tried to cling to Delhi, but I failed to have my way no matter whatever I tried. That was the 3rd time I got angry with God, but had no choice than to move to Mumbai.
Once again, God had better designs for me in HIS mind. What I believed was another disappointment for me, turned out to be rather a golden stroke of luck for me. In Mumbai, I was entrusted with additional winding up work of the MNC bank branch (who had taken controlling stake in my Bank), besides my regular assignments, which I successfully accomplished, and was noted for my abilities to handle multiple functions and complicated situations.
However, as a part of reorganization necessitated with the merger of MNC branch with my Bank, I was again relocated to Bangalore (further away from my home town Jaipur/Delhi), and was designated as a Nodal Officer of CDR (Corporate Debt Restructuring) Cell.
By this time, I had started trusting God's designs; frustration and disappointment meant 'God at work', and was able to see through God's encrypted message, and went to Bangalore happily, with lot of optimism.
There began a dream run for me for almost a decade, when I successfully handled my CDR portfolio, made good professional friends amongst other CDR participating Banks, and among my CDR Clients too, and simultaneously also successfully managed closing of MNC Mumbai Branch issues. Recognition, name, fame and money came my way; much more than what I would have ever imagined.
In the hindsight, I wonder what would have happened if I had not gone to Chandigarh; what would have happened if my first Bank would have declared my Scale IV results (and of course I would have never looked for career outside my first bank), and I had not moved to that south-based bank; what would have happened if I would have not been sent from New Delhi to Mumbai, and what would have happened if I would have not landed myself finally in the city beautiful, Bangalore?
Now, whenever I am in a unhappy spot, I don't pursue my agenda. I go with the flow; for I know God is at work. Frustration and disappointments, to me, has rather become premonition to good times coming my way. Nonetheless, I still try to do my best as an owner of situation, but staying completely detached to the results I am pursuing and expecting, I manage to stay in space filled with peace and tranquility.
When I see all around, I find many-a-like me having similar kind of run professionally, be it careers, sports, business, or Bollywood etc, and my story probably is a story of all of us, in some shade or other.
The magic in God's designs is that the route to success and happiness is carved through alleys of our fears and insecurities. One has to swim with so called disappointments and frustrations (against the tide of our expectations), keep working to the best of one's abilities, and to just stay with flow of events.
Angry with God? Trust HIM; as HE has specific designs for all of us human beings. We just need to stay in the game, and not to quit.