Art of Forgiveness
The ego in human beings always strive for success and recognition, and nothing more satisfies a human being more than a word of recognition and appreciation. All other necessities of life like food, clothes and shelter are subservient to the glow that success and recognition brings on our faces.
On the contrary, nothing hurt a person more than a spoken harsh word, an ugly look, being ignored, being humiliated or being manhandled, more so in the presence of your family, friends and colleagues.
In the later case, the spoken words echoes, the dirty and angry looks haunts and trauma lingers on us for a very long time. Now to tell someone, who had this experience, to forgive the person who inflicted this injury on you, is like asking too much.
How can anyone forgive someone for that kind of treatment meted out to you?
Scriptures and Philosophers of all hues and shades, in all civilizations, since ages, propagate virtues of practicing forgiveness.
I googled on 'Forgiveness', and found few quotes quite insightful and encouraging in pursuit of practicing forgiveness. Some of such gems are recaptured hereunder:-
- It is cheaper to pardon than to resent. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.
- Forgive others, with no sense of condemnation. A clean, clear slate - not forgiveness on the installment plan.
- Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
- The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
- To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover and discover that the prisoner was you.
- If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.
- When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.
- To err is human; to forgive, divine.
- Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals.
- Forgiveness is a choice, but it is not an option.
- Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.
- Forgiveness is not always easy. At times it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.
- There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.
- There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.
- Forgiving people in silence, and never speaking to them again is a form of self care.
- Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
- Forgiveness is God's command.
Now, while I have huge appreciation of these words of wisdom which have been said by learned thinkers and philosophers, and I indeed do draw lot of strength in practicing forgiveness, but my dilemma has been,
"How do we forgive someone who is not seeking forgiveness ?"
After thinking over a period of long time on how do I forgive, I chanced about a concept, which has almost settled this issue of forgiveness once for all for me.
This concept was, "Let these wrongs done unto me cancel the wrongs which I have done to others", and lo, the load I was carrying vanishes in thin air.
So, in case, you too are struggling to take off the load of injury/insult/wrongs inflicted on you, get it cancelled with wrongs you would have done to others, and set yourself free.
Please don't tell me you never did any wrong to anyone.