Find a Friend
Come Dec-Jan every year, the northern part of India encounters notorious levels of Air Quality Index (AQI). The higher the AQI value, the greater the level of air pollution and thus greater the health concern for the people exposed to high AQI. Same is true for water pollution (Water Quality Index - WQI) and other types of pollution getting generated in our environment, like sound pollution, social pollution etc.
What about high TQI levels (Thought Quality Index)? How does that affects us?
Whereas high AQI levels and WQI levels affects our bodies directly, high TQI levels affects our mind first, and then it goes on to affect our bodies too.
High TQI levels is triggered when we carry a feeling of hate, envy, jealousy, and insufficiency, to name the few vices, and gets further accentuated in case we encounter failure, disappointment, frustration, and a sense of purposelessness, pushing us into depression, loss of interest in life etc.
The resultant negativity created gets ballooned to the extent that we become myopic. We fail to see and appreciate all the good things and blessings we already have and are enjoying in the face of what we are craving and what is eluding us. Instead, we only think about what others have, and what we do not have, in specific reference to our friends and neighborhood, and keep brooding about how to outsmart others.
Ever heard of FQI (Family Quality Index)? Surely not. This is a sub-set of TQI, AND is the most sensitive QI indicator, and has to be dealt with high level of respect, care and sensitivity. All families, some day or the other, experience some bitterness. Each one of us, at times, hold a grudge against others. But for the sake of civility, most of us hold back ourselves, and do not speak out our minds (this raises levels of FQI). Our capacities to keep our bottled up emotions (called resilience) under check, releases negative energies, plaguing our minds in turn, and we really do not know which part of the body is getting affected while we suppress our emotions.
The recommended therapy to keep FQI levels under check is to maintain some distance, allow love and care to take precedence over our hurts and scars, guide good sense to see through other’s point of views, and look for renewed reasons to continue to nourish mutual relationships.
Tolerance and Perseverance are the key attributes which helps maintain healthy levels of FQI. The focus needs to be more on the rainbows in our life, and less on the storms.
What about OQI (Office Quality Index). This again is a sub-set of TQI. When I talk about OQI, I am including Business in the same league as Office, and human relations (HR) is the only perspective I am talking about here. Of course professionally one has to be his/her best, and has to find ways to deal with all kind of office situations/ bosses and stay away from office politics as much as possible. Focus on being a contributor than criticizing the system.
Nonetheless, the suppressed emotions of anger, frustration also need to be vented out, besides exercising due perseverance in the matter, otherwise resultant suffocation can cause irreparable damage. Finding a friend in whom you can confide, and share whatever bothers you, like a deteriorating relationship with a family member or with office boss etc, instead of letting that rot indigestible in your body and mind, can be a sure shot firewall. A panacea for all relationship ills. That kind of a friend has to be a non-polluting, someone who can emphatise with you, has a holistic approach, and someone who can listen with all senses. Someone to whom you can unload without any inhibition and hesitation whatsoever, and without the fear of secrets being passed on to someone. Someone we are willing to hear out.
Now the question boils down to how to manage high levels of TQI, FQI and OQI on its own. One sure way could be to try developing an owners' mindset, criticize less and operate from the level of gratitude, understand that every one in their respective life goes through such phases, and you are not alone in this battle, be happy with all that you are already blessed with, and if we can train our mind to see good things even in bad things around, we can always check these QIs under control.
Remember the people who unfortunately commit suicide, e.g., celebrities like V G Siddhartha of Cafe Coffee Day fame, Bollywood star Sushant Singh Rajput, Balika Vadhu star Prathushya Banerjee, and many others, like students preparing for elite Engineering and Medical seats; for their inability to cope up with their studies or withstand the peer pressure, for they didn’t develop that level of friendship with anyone, which I am referring here, and didn't find any vent to express their emotions.
Scriptures suggest a remedy - a combination of balanced life style, a little inclination to spirituality and a sense of gratitude to what the life has already given us, can go a long way in maintaining positivity, and helps swimming through life, with ups and downs, with a healthy level of TQI.
In nut-shell, high levels of AQI and WQI are the sources of poison we consume from outside, i.e., our environment, and Govt. alone can come up with remedial measures. On the other hand, high level of TQI, FQI, and OQI, if not nipped in the bud, the mind releases poison inside our bodies. So, we need to interact with a friend, family member we trust, and spit the venom brewing inside.
Find a Friend if you haven't find them so far. Find two, if possible. In case you can't find, rent a friend in the meanwhile.
Find someone to lunge on when you face storms in your life. Such Friends become our security shield to face any vulnerable situation that comes in our life.
Wishing all a Friendly New Year.