KYF - Be aware & Beware of your Friends
This is a real life story of a college friend, whom I had known since 1974 when we post-graduated from Delhi University, till this day.
He was like, the first no-nonsense friend I met, whom I idolized and admired since college days for his focused attention. He was my senior and was the University topper in the stream we pursued. Being a sincere and a thorough gentleman type he was, he was a natural choice for all juniors for any kind of mentoring we needed.
As was natural during those days, the best of the talent used to get picked up by nationalized banks, and given his level of sincerity and commitment, he got placed within 6 months of passing out. He was noticed for his zeal and passion, and he got an overseas posting within first 2 years of placement. Admiration seeped into envy, but admiration was so huge, that not-withstanding the envy factor, all his close friends, with lot of fanfare, saw him off at New Delhi Airport for that dream destination. Remember I am talking about 1976-77 period, and it used to be a very big achievement those days to bag an overseas posting.
In the meantime, I too got picked up by one of the then leading Pvt Sector Bank in the year 1976, and as the friendship was destined to bloom with passage of time, we got posted as Branch Heads with our respective Banks, at Faridabad and Lucknow, sometimes during 1990-1993 period. These two postings at the same place, and mutual family affiliation for each other, ensured that we take the friendship to the next level.
On the career front, with time, my friend was again rewarded by the Bank, and this time he got another overseas posting as Country Head, and the luxury of staying in a beautiful sea-facing Flat and a chauffeur driven Toyota Camry. Being a friendly person, he extended an open invitation to all his friends to visit him and enjoy a luxurious stay overseas. Among all his friends, just one of our old college days friend, a flamboyant friend (FF), visited him and enjoyed his hospitality. Finally, with 3 years to go for his superannuation,, he was honourably brought back to India at a very senior position in the Bank, and he finally retired at the age of 60 a couple of years back.
Enjoying easy post-retirement life was not to be his cup of tea, being a sincere and a workaholic kind of a person, and at the earliest opportunity, he joined some company in Delhi as a Financial controller, and was back to a routine of honourable and a satisfying life.
One day, this FF of ours, called upon him and put-forward a proposal and offered him one of his newly to - be - floated - venture, and asked him to head that venture. He told him that he is into diversification mode and he needs people whom he can trust, as he is pumping huge money in this new venture. He also said he is not expecting any money to be put in by my friend, all working capital funds shall be arranged by him through some Bank. My friend, finding no reasons to worry, as there was to be no financial requirements from him, joined the company as a Director, and was allotted some shares, and as MD of the Company he signed the Bank Loan documents , which included his Personal Guarantee too.
The background understanding between that FF and this friend was that as and when my friend will like to quit, this FF shall bring in his replacement and he shall be discharged of all his liabilities, including Personal Guarantee too.
To keep records straight, my friend's family never approved of this venture and gave all logic why he shouldn't ride this bandwagon, yet as the destiny would have been, he found more sense in the dream world shown to him by this FF, and took up the new venture as MD of the company.
As the luck would have been , our FF started encountering stormy times, and money borrowed in this new venture was diverted to save situation in steady ships, but he couldn't save them from the peril, and that diversion of funds also sunk this newly formed venture in the very first year itself, and this account became an NPA with the Bank. Being a case of infant mortality, and a clear case of diversion of funds, my friend and his company were subjected to lot of tough scrutiny, which my friend had to bear with, and also had to bear lot of humiliation too.
My friend, being a banker himself, knew the consequences of leaving a loan account unsettled, and like it or hate it, all the assets of the company were sold to clear the Bank's dues. But there was still a huge shortfall, and my friend had to liquidate all his assets, jewellery, FDRs, borrowed money from his daughters, (approx Rs.3 crore) to clear the delinquent account of new venture, and was accordingly discharged by the Bank from his Personal Guarantee. His family was at war with him when they got to know of this situation, and they demanded such money from FF but he was already broke, and didn't offer any money except lip sympathy and wild assurances. This FF gradually stopped taking calls, and when met in person was never apologetic. Later on my friend came to know that to save his sinking ships, he made some of his other friends too raise huge money (again in crores) against their personal properties from Banks, and our FF eventually defaulted to those friends too.
When my friend shared all this story with me a year back, I was like aghast where my friend had landed himself. But I also wondered, would I have said NO to that FF if this proposal would have been made by him to me. The quality of this FF is that he is too savvy and confident about his words that he literally believe no one can ever doubt his sincerity and can say NO to him.
Anyway I now, in the hindsight feel , probably , our FF ventured too far off, much beyond all his means in defending his financial liabilities in multifarious activities. Beyond a point, probably he was only interested in tiding up his affairs , not bothering how he is going to return that money to his friends, and probably rationalized that may those friend should have been more a little more wiser and careful, or shouldn't have believed him at face value, or may be that was their destiny.
Over the last one year or so when that friend shared this tragedy, I had been in regular touch with him, and have been sharing all kind of words of wisdom as to how best he need to deal with this situation. I knew there is little hope of recovering that kind of money., but yet I kept him on false hopes, like they keep you on ventilator these days, so that he comes out of the horrible times he was passing through without any further damage to himself or to his family meme
Yesterday, that friend of ours, passed away. He had a cup of tea in the morning, and......gone, collapsed on sofa. His family rushed him to the nearest hospital, but he was declared ' brought dead'. May his soul rest in peace.
Given the kind of virtuous and dignified life he lived, except for this episode, God compensated him with a painless delivery from this world, and in the process also saved his family pain in tending to him in the hospital, and saved whatever little money they were sustaining themselves on for the family.
I do not know how this FF of ours is going to take that news. But I know, he has got this news.
All tragedies are personal, and here my friend and his family bore the brunt. All his glory of career growth, overseas posting and Country Head etc were enjoyed by his extended family of friends and relatives.
What is the takeaway from this tragic story. Be watchful, and practice saying NO, even if you are a die-hard believer in humanity. Be helpful, like in consulting, and share your mind and wisdom, but do not put any money in any new or old venture. Listen to your family, as women especially, have that sixth sense to see a problem a mile away. Stay away from flashy friends.
Post retirement, do not put any signatures on any Bank Loan documents, either as a borrower or as a guarantor. in fact, all these words of wisdom are equally applicable to people in all age group.
Agreed, all friends are not like our FF, but FF are like FF. What we all need to be careful about is knowing that your BFF (Best Friends Forever) may turn out to BFF (Bitchy Fake Friends) over period of time, and one must guard themselves against their historical images.