Share your story - Sorry .....and Thank You
Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. Stephen King said, “ I write because it makes me think”. I liked this, felt motivated and started writing, as I too have a story to share.
Beyond the realms of rank, designation, position, band, CTC and fame, I believe I have, by and large, with grace of God, lived a meaningful and a satisfying life. So, I choose to share my success mantra, with a hope it may help some people in some ways.
While sharing that, I am fully aware that every human being is a different product, made in the crucible of the circumstances and his surroundings, yet, I feel that their ability to handle inter-personal relations with the people they get to deal and work with shapes the quality of life that they are likely to live through.
Therefore, besides the professional competence, credibility and the contents a person carries, which decides their usefulness to the place where they live and work, there is one more very important attribute which ensures that they are loved, respected and have their way most of the times. And that is, appropriate and sincere use of two words, “ Sorry” and “ Thank You”, in any given situation.
Let’s first start with the word “ Sorry”. When did you last say ' Sorry'? This question is more for unmarried men, as married men know the value of this word, and frequently use it with their spouses, even when they are not at fault, just to buy peace. Jokes apart, in fact, Jains' community even celebrate ' Shama yachna parv' - means ' Forgiveness festival' every year, where they seek forgiveness of all those whom they would have interacted and might have unintentionally wronged in word or deed. I rather chose to call word 'Sorry' as a reconciliation tool to set right spiritual imbalance of mind, spirit and body.
Coming back to our place of work, be it an office or business place, at times, for some reasons you have to scold someone for making the other person feel guilty/sorry for the tepid work they did or for lack of appropriate behaviour. Naturally, the person who got the beating, feels low, and whether they were wrong or right, they carry some bitterness for the way they were dealt with (even if they deserved it). For myself, I never allowed my bridges to be burnt with such persons, and at some point of time during that day or next day, I shall pat that guy and say, something like ‘ take it easy buddy' or ‘ be careful in future’ etc, just short of saying ‘ sorry, I lost my cool’. The intent is to bring back the relationship to an even point at the earliest and burying resentment, if any, the transaction would have brought about. I have even seen my expat bosses also toeing a similar strategy, and I myself felt better whenever I was at the receiving end. In nutshell, a ‘Sorry’ , even for the right reasons, expect some kind of reciprocative ‘Sorry’ , in word or deed from the other side, to neutralise the negative impact, if any.
When one person says ‘ Sorry’ for wrongs or perceived wrongs they have done, it becomes the responsibility of the other person to help neutralise the bitterness that they may be carrying, and uplift the spirits of person saying ‘ Sorry’ first. A one-side ‘ Sorry’ leaves relationship wrinkled, if not spoiled, and looks for an appropriate regret for the incident from other side too. So, say sorry, in word or deeds (a pat or a hug) to the person who says sorry to you to even it out. That only shows your grace and large heartedness.
Remember, ability to say 'Sorry' is not a weakness. You are not demeaning yourself when you say that. Rather it is a sign of great depth of personality you have carved for yourself.
When it comes to saying ‘ Thank you’, one need to look into the eyes of other person, and say it smiling and appreciatively as and when such opportunity/situation arises. Thank you conveys gratitude to the other person. One needs to develop, subconsciously, a habit of saying ‘Thank you’ for all those small efforts of other persons, be he be a maid, milkman, newspaper vendor, plumber, electrician, courier, Swiggy, Zomato or Uber/Ola guy or a person handling any customer care desk anywhere. In fact, a Thank you, is an indirect way of reflection of feeling of your gratitude to the other person who worked for you or who delivered some direct/indirect benefits to you through his service. When you start saying ‘ Thank you’ to even those persons also who probably will not meet you again in your life, then it becomes a part of your DNA, and that’s the level each one of must aspire to reach to convey our thankfulness to someone who worked for us and helped us in any manner whatsoever.
A ‘Thank you’, other than leaving a better feeling with the other side, leaves an equally good feeling to you also, and no opportunity should be lost in saying ‘ Thank you’ to anyone irrespective of his position in the society, as that has spiritually healing effect. on yourself too.
So say 'Sorry' to someone where it is long overdue and mend fences. It heals both sides.
And remember to acknowledge all that good others do to you, and ensure you have said 'Thank You' wherever it is due, day after day, leading to better inter-personal relationship with the people one gets to deal with in one's life times.