Success & Happiness
Happiness is relative and so is Success too. But wait, aren't Success and Happiness synonyms? Or, doesn't success leads to happiness, or as some philosophers say, it's other way round, viz., happiness leading to success? And what about popularity. Can that be a measure of success and eventually happiness, or popularity is the byproduct of success and happiness.
On the face of it , 'Yes', but if you look at it for a little longer time, they aren't.
To understand that better, let's look at few examples. A poor boy is selling balloons in a market, and a better-off boy buy balloons from that balloon seller. Both buyer and seller feel happy in this case.......equally happy. The one who bought is happy because he got what he desired. The other is happy having made a sale, which has some element of profit. The balloon seller boy goes on to sell all the balloons he brought in the market, and while feeling happy every time he made a sale, finally he can call himself successful also once he sells all the balloons he started with.
This incidentally, is the case with all transactions involving buying and selling. So, all buyers are happy when they buy anything they set their heart on, in the market place, irrespective of whether they really need that or not, and all sellers feel both happy, and eventually successful also if they make significant sales. (The compulsive buying, however, give you happiness-kick, though you end up paying price for the same in endless buying of stuff you really don't need.) Anyway, purchase/sale is a two-way happiness track. Look for such two-way track of happiness, even if it coms with some toll.
In a second situation, where one is pitted against other, like in all sports, competitive examinations etc., the one who goes on to win becomes happy and the one who is loser, becomes unhappy and dejected. So here for every happy person/team, there is also an unhappy person/team too. For that matter, this case of one happy and one unhappy shall be the automatic choice in all areas involving competition. The crux here is that unhappiness on account of failure/defeat needs to be channelized into victory with commitment, dedication and discipline. Learn from experience and be happy that you 'too ran' the race and keep improving on your stamina, skills and contents.
Then there is one-way happiness too, where no one else is being made unhappy. For example, when you get up in the morning, having good night sleep, and being on your toes is the first thing that makes you happy. A smile on the face of your child also makes you happy; and wife's too. Hugging your children makes you happy. Getting to eat food of your choice makes you happy. Listening to your favourite music makes you happy. And may be dancing too. Getting to indulge in sports, you like and enjoy, makes you happy. A smooth drive to your place of work makes you happy. Getting to pursue your passion makes you happy. Likewise, your own achievements, your children's achievements makes you happy and there are innumerable other instances where you feel happy without anybody else becoming unhappy with your happiness. So, this is one-way happiness all of us experience every day, and it's not dependent on any quantifiable success we achieved any where. Enjoy such one-way happiness as much as possible, and use this as a fall back in case of difficult times.
Happiness, however, is observed to be quite fragile, when it comes out of being successful, as when you do not succeed next time, you become unhappy, and also it dampens fast when you see around other successful and happier people. Ego gets triggered and you start doubting your happiness and success, to the extent, that one might even go in depression seeing the relatively higher success and happiness of others around. So in this case, every new day has to be lived well and one aspire to be on winning side to stay successful and be happy. As said earlier, in this case, for every happy person/team, there shall be an unhappy person/team too. This is life, and it's not a straight line. Learn to live with ups and downs, and conserve optimism when you are going up, for that shall be useful to you when you are going down.
The biggest threat to happiness are incidents of sickness in the family, accidents, failure, loss of money because of theft/cheating/fraud perpetuated on you and unexpected loss of a near and dear in the family. All such instances punctures your happiness, and bouncing back to happiness state takes lot of time. Faith in God, your patience and perseverance, and attitude of " this too shall pass" shall surely see through bad phase of life. To continue to stay on the wicket, like they say in Cricket, is the surest way out of such miseries.
The most important tool in your hands to stay happy is your MIND and your mentality. Foremost, to stay happy, press refresh button everyday morning and count your blessings, no matter what be the challenges for the day. Even if you have some worries to sort out, remember that you are still better off than many others, and with your perseverance you shall carve a way out sooner or later. Let go off hurts/insults/bad behaviour inflicted on you. Learn to forgive and then forgive completely. Avoid arguments as far as possible. Don't lose your temper under any circumstances; just walk away if you can't bear that situation.
STAY POSITIVE under all circumstances. PRAY for Others first, who might be fighting bigger battles in their life. When you pray for others, ahead of your own well being, spiritual cash back accrues to your karmic account, which comes to your rescue during your bad times. A sure recipe for happiness, and may be success too.